Lessons from 2017

Happy New Year! Well, there goes another year!!! Let me just say that 2017 was one of the toughest ones for me. It was like someone threw crap at a spinning ceiling fan (haha). I cried a lot, I laughed a lot... I was brave enough to dive head first into unfamiliar situations, brave enough to open up and be vulnerable... But slowly, I healed. I read a lot of prose and poetry (Rupi Kaur's collections are my fave), watched a lot of TED talks, took psychology as a minor... You get the point. But, through this very challenging year, I have learned a lot of things and I wanted to share these with you guys. 
It has been a while since I last wrote something, so yeah this is super rough.

1. You can't control everything. Sometimes you have to let some things go.
  • ➤ As someone who overthinks everything (lol what's new), I tend to plan every situation down to every little detail. This has been such a terrible habit of mine... Trying to plan everything in your head just sets you up to be disappointed. 
  • ➤ I always end up expecting too much from everything and everyone, then I would end up getting really hurt when some things don't go the way I "plan" it to be. This is still something that I personally have to work on. In life, you just have to accept that some things are or aren't meant to happen, and that other people are entitled to their own opinions and feelings. And those are external. Those things you cannot control. 
2. It is completely normal to feel lost sometimes.
  • ➤ I started off the year with an 8 month break from university which made me feel so frustrated about everything but mostly-- myself. I felt so lost and I felt like the whole universe was conspiring against me. I had no idea what I really wanted to do with my life, and I had no idea what I was doing wrong. During the first few months of the year, I started pushing people away. I was embarrassed of myself and how much of a failure I am for not knowing what to do. So I decided to get a job to make me feel a sense of purpose, to distract myself, and to keep busy. 
  • ➤ It was also around the beginning of 2017 when I got my hopes high and my feelings really hurt for the first time this year. I fell in love with the possibility of something deeper than friendship and the feeling of belonging. I guess I was feeling so down that it felt so good when somebody actually noticed me during "my darkest times". Aaaaand, after being "ghosted" (aaaah sh*t), I felt so lost again. (also can I just say that ghosting is so not cool! it messes up with people's feelings)
  • ➤ But yeah. Looking back, I realized that I was supposed to get lost in order to find myself again. Furthermore..........

3. It is never a good idea to compare yourself to other people.
  • ➤ !!!Very important lesson of 2017!!! Comparing yourself to other people is never a good idea. It will just make you feel like complete sh*t. I have gone days crying and overthinking about how everyone is so much better than I was. Ugh. This is one of those things that I am going to look back at and say "what a f*cking loser". But seriously, DON'T go scrolling through other people's social media platforms and start comparing how good their life is compared to yours. You will not get anything from it. (Well I guess, you can get motivation from it, but idk it's never a good idea if you're an over thinker like me 😅) 
  • ➤ Everyone has their own issues anyway, and we don't really see that from the outside. People choose what to post online so everything is filtered. I could go on and on about this so I'm going to stop here haha.
  • ➤ Compare yourself to yourself yesterday. Wait, does that make sense? You get the point.
4. Pain is temporary. 
  • ➤ I learned that bottling up the pain / your feelings hurts a lot more than just letting it all out. I used to hold down any emotions I have but oh my goodness after a while, it will physically hurt you. Like you can feel it everywhere.
  • ➤ If you need to, just cry it out. Let it all out. It will feel better after you release whatever it is you're feeling. And whatever it is, just know that it'll pass. It happened because you have to learn something from it. 
  • ➤ Opening yourself up to feeling pain is very brave anyway. GO you.

5. Self-care & self-love is very important!!!
  • ➤ There are a lot of really good poems by Rupi Kaur but this is one that I really want to share with you guys. She wrote: 
  • ➤ Life is really tough so it is essential to take time to recharge, and treat ourselves you know. I know I still kinda suck at taking care of myself, but I am working on it. I've always been so sensitive to other people's feelings, and I have been used to always putting everyone else ahead of me. But I have learned that sometimes, we have to be a little bit selfish because we have to look after ourselves too. 
  • ➤ There are so many ways to recharge and make yourself feel better physically, and mentally. I usually take myself out on "solo dates". I would go to a favorite cafe or  restaurant, have something good to eat, and I put my phone away and disconnect from the pressures of the online world and just focus on the present. You know, just simple things.
  • ➤ Recently, I started meditating in the morning and before I go to sleep. And can I just say, it is amazing. Clearing your mind makes you feel so much better. It calms me down and it helps with my anxiety and insomnia as well. 
  • ➤ I found that having a Pinterest board / a collection of positive affirmations to scroll through, and reading poems (there are a lot of good poetry accounts on Instagram) helps a lot too! A little retail therapy works too 😉😏
  • ➤ In our lifetime, we are stuck with ourselves anyway... Might as well learn to enjoy our own company.
6. Be honest. Be vulnerable.
  • ➤ I have always been the type of person who instantly freaks out when I start catching feelings. 😬 I never really knew what to do when I start feeling a little something more towards someone. 
  • ➤ However.. Recently, I took a deep breath and I tried to be brave. I am still working on expressing my feelings through actual conversation (writing is so much easier for me), because I always get so choked up and nervous and teary-eyed whenever I talk or open up about my feelings to anybody.
  • ➤ I've learned that it is so much better to just put it all out there and just be honest. The worst thing that could happen is rejection, but hey, you won't be filled with regrets.

Those are just a few of the many lessons I've learned throughout the year. Aaaand I am looking forward to what 2018 will bring. This new year, I hope to continue my journey to continue healing, to find myself, to grow, and to just make the most out of everything in life. We made it through another year, so keep doing you and hopefully we've learned from the challenges we encountered during the past year. No need for resolutions. We are ready for anything.

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